Astrology - Life Purpose - Transformation
The Real Me, The Real You

The Real Me, The Real You

The real me is flawed and fumbling. The real me is unsure, always unsure. Maybe deep inside there is a seed of absolute certainty, absolute faith. But that is not what’s on the surface, most of the time.

The outer layers are always in doubt, always wondering. Will I make it in this world? Will I mess up the things that have been given to me?

Am I worthy? Am I worthy of this love, this child, this home, this work? Am I worthy of the people I am surrounded by?

Am I worthy of the path I walk? Of my aspirations and my dreams?

Am I worthy of this world I live in? These mountains? This sunset?

This light dusting of snow.

That memory from years ago, or months.

The memory of being held by a friend, or a lover, or my mom.

Or my first kiss.

Or the many, many times I cried and prayed to God, for an answer, for a way forward.

Am I worthy of someone picking up the phone when I call?

Of Christmas?

Am I worthy of this heart that is beating in my chest?

Am I worthy of making a difference?

These questions are what live and breathe my life; they are my stride.

They threaten to tear me apart, and then, they also put me back together.

Strangely.

In a new way every time.

I only hope to be of some service as I offer what I’ve got at your door,

and you know what?

I am not even sure I know what that is.

Couldn’t describe it if you asked.

I am just a raw beating heart. I am someone pulled to your raw beating heart. And though I am unsure, if I am going to live into the next moment (sometimes it seems so hard to just endure), this pain I feel now is enough. It’s real. It’s enough.

 

Stone balance and photography by Michael Grab. 

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