That’s right, and binging makes you avoid taking risks.
In fact, it’s my belief that’s why we are binging in the first place, to placate fear.
We know that if we let the hunger live inside of us, it will lead to doing something different, taking action, and probably the kind of action that is out of the box, that comes from our creative right brain and our instincts more than our rational mind that puts things in boxes and then hires fear to make sure that all of our actions thereafter fit well into those boxes.
That approach does not work.
It ends up going weird, always.
A marriage ends in an affair, a disease process begins in the body, or we end up with a house full of stuff we don’t need because our shopping got out of control.
Because we repressed, we resisted our own creativity and it is now coming out sideways.
We don’t trust that our instincts are on our side. That our creativity is there to help us, not harm us. That even mistakes, if made with our hearts in the right place and a healthy spirit of curiosity, will lead to good things.
Seth Godin stresses the importance of celebrating your kids’ failures with them as long as they (the failures) were accomplished in an effort to solve an interesting problem. And I believe all failures are, and often the problem is a deep existential one we cannot name and put into words easily.
The same thing is true when parenting ourselves.
Take a moment to thank yourself for all the times you chose to have the courage to act on an instinct. To follow your nose. Take a moment to celebrate a failure that was really an expression of your true self, your powerful, potent essence, even if it pissed someone off, made someone sad or they broke up with you.
Take a moment to collect some of those moments from your past and congratulate yourself on being a real human being. Not what they wanted you to be in school, not a clone of your role model, not what your parent(s) wanted you to be.
And then, vow to do it again. Vow to follow your nose, this time from a place of alignment with your values.
Don’t know what your true values are?
It’s easy ~ it’s what you’ve always known to be true since you were a kid. A wee thing. It’s what your dreams and fantasies were and are made of. Yeah, the ones you are ashamed of. Excavate those for the information they have for you about who you really are.
Did you like to bike around and imagine there was hidden treasure all around you? Did you want to marry a millionaire? Or live in a small hut on the beach alone and make art all day?
Allow yourself your dreams.
You didn’t make them up, you came in with them. They were seeds waiting to be watered, power lines waiting to be tapped.
Dig them up.
And then, vow to take risks again. Vow to never let your need to stay safe become greater than your need to live fully, at least not for any significant length of time.
The world needs you. We are waiting. So when you are ready, put down that snack, and get to work living.
I love you.