I was at a party the other day ~ perhaps you have been to one of these parties? ~ where everyone was standing around talking to each other. That is to say, there was nothing else going on other than people talking to each other.
I blurred my eyes and let the big picture of what was happening be shown to me. I saw a bunch of heads with very little if any connection to their bodies ~ everyone was talking from their intellect ~ from a cerebral place. They were sharing with each other the judgements and interpretations they had made of different phenomena in the world, and behind everyone’s words was one clear thing: they didn’t feel confident about what they were saying.
Rightly so! Judgements and opinions, interpretations are not real. They are just stories.
And we all know, deep inside or not so deep inside, that they are not real. That they have holes. That they are wisps in the wind at best, and that tomorrow we can wake up with a totally different opinion about something. No matter how stubborn you are, there is a way in this world to change your opinion about something. Because opinions are not real.
I have a creeping suspicion that we are all bored to death in situations like this ~ when a group of people stands around just talking to each other about opinions and interpretations.
What we are craving is connection, and the only way we know to get it is to share what is going on in our heads.
What about this other way: how about, instead of talking about our experience of reality, we create reality, right in this moment?
Best of all, how about we do it together?
Note: This does relate to food and binge eating, keep reading!
It Could Look A Little Something Like This
How many times a minute to you have an impulse or instinct to say something or do something and instead you press “override” in your mind and decide to do or say something else ~ probably the more socially acceptable thing, instead?
Like, imagine, you are standing at a party, and mid-conversation, you see a hoola hoop in the corner, and your first instinct is to go throw it on and move your hips. You quickly remind yourself that you are in the middle of a conversation, pretending to look interested, and it would be impolite to go hoola hoop instead.
The truth is, if you act on your impulse from a place of love and being in alignment with yourself, you will create a juicy moment not just for yourself, for everyone around you! You will inspire them to Create the moment with you, instead of talking about it.
Maybe someone will be inspired to pick up the drum in the corner and start playing, or the host will put on some funky music, or someone will start cheering you on. Suddenly, everyone will be living in the moment, and you will be creating it together.
And do you know what that is a recipe for?
The very thing you were looking for in the first place.
Byyyy the way, it doesn’t have to be a hoola hoop, it could be a guitar, or no prop at all, just saying something that feels true for you in the moment.
You can tell Truth by its spontaneous and sudden appearance in your consciousness.
It floats up as if from the universe itself, and doesn’t have to go through any manufacturing or filtering through your mind.
Here’s What This Has to Do with Binge Eating
As I was watching this party, a momentous realization hit me:
What do you think these people were doing other than talking? They were eating and drinking!
In trying hard to connect, and not quite getting there, we feel a void, and to fill the void, we eat and drink at parties. But this eating and drinking, in this case, is not about celebration and feasting together in the present moment ~ it’s about filling a void of awkwardness and discomfort. And it doesn’t really work, because it’s just a substitute for what we really want ~ love and connection.
What hit me was this: it isn’t just binge eaters or other folks that identify as struggling with eating disorders that have a dysfunctional relationship with food ~ it’s a common cultural trait! In fact, a functional relationship with food ~ one in which we eat food as fuel, both physiological and spiritual (as in, taking sincere pleasure in a meal will feed us spiritually as well as physiologically) ~ is a great exception.
So, sisters, as you embark on the journey to heal your relationship with food, you are doing so for a majority of people on this earth. If you are picking up on the fact that there is a better way to use food, then you are on the cutting edge of healing in this world, and I commend you.
If you see living as being about learning how to use your resources and your power in such a way as to change the world for the better as much as you can in your lifetime, then learning how to use food is a pivotal evolutionary step.
And change is hard because you are going against the grain of not just your patterns, but the pattern that is habitual on a large scale.
Take This Home
A. That your work to transform your relationship with food is revolutionary. By healing yourself, you are changing the world and forging a path for all to live a life of healthy relationship to their power.
B. That living in the moment, choosing the courage (you don’t have courage, you choose it in any given moment) to express your instinct and your impulse without filtering it through your thought process first, creates the moment, and in creating the moment, you will create connection with others. And that in connecting with others and living in the moment, you will get what you truly crave (feeling alive) and will not any longer have a void to fill.
*hint: this is a practice. It starts with living this way in one moment, maybe at first the moments are few and far between, then they get closer together, until your default way of being is living in the moment. Don’t give up ~ it’s a muscle, and you’ll use it and love it forever until your dying breath.
C. Know that, if your instincts and impulses come from a place of love, for yourself and those around you, they will lead to good results. In other words, whatever you do out of good intentions, even if it turns out a bit weird at first, will ultimately result in good.
This is something you can trust forever and always.
On that note, this week, go out and do something spontaneous, instinctual, without thinking about it too much. Or much at all. Do it from a place of love, as in, “I am committed to my happiness, and so I choose the courage to try something radically new in order to feel my creative power in this world.”
Go toward your destiny with complete abandon.
I love you.
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